“Regrets, I’ve had a few./But then again, too few to mention.”
These lines are from “My Way,” a song covered by Frank Sinatra and others. Regret is one emotion that can be particularly difficult. It involves thinking about the past and comparing it to the future. These comparisons often aren’t favorable. We judge ourselves for what we think we could’ve done, what we think we should’ve done.
These comparisons can be especially difficult if we’re recovering from drug or alcohol abuse. If we’re in recovery, we’re living very different lives compared to how we lived when were addicted. We might be regretting how we lived then, when all we were interested in was that next hit or that next drink.
But luckily, we’re not doomed to a lifetime of regrets and looking backward. Here are some things we can do to minimize or avoid regret:
1.) Visit a therapist. Therapists can help you examine the past and put it to rest. They can help you develop ways to focus on the future.
2.) Find supportive friends. We all know Debbie Downers who only like to focus on the negative things in life. But such people can drag you down, so you might want to consider spending time with people who don’t dwell on things, encouraging people who enjoy the present and look forward to the future.
3.) Stay busy. Did you ever hear the phrase, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop”? It means that if people don’t have anything to do, they can get in trouble. Finding enjoyable ways to spend your time (and money) can keep people physically and mentally away from alcohol, drugs, unsupportive people, and tempting places.
4.) Explore your spiritual side. Examining your spirituality can mean joining a religious community. It could mean studying religious and spiritual writings. It could mean getting in touch with your spirituality by meditating, exercising, spending time in nature, or other practices.
Regrets force you to look negatively at the past. Isn’t it healthier to focus on the future instead?
