Abstinence. It’s a word you often hear in recovery circles. It’s funny, but I’ve always heard it in terms of sex and eating. It must be a product of my religious education as a kid. In those religious teachings, abstaining from sex means not having sex. Abstaining means fasting, or not eating. Abstaining from eating meat means not eating meat.
In addiction and recovery circles, abstinence means a similar thing. It means not using alcohol or drugs. But abstaining is not always the same thing as sobriety or being sober. You can abstain from drugs and alcohol, but abstinence might be a temporary behavior.
Sober and sobriety, on the other hand, are words that address long-term behaviors. But sobriety isn’t just a change in behavior. Maybe more importantly, it’s also a change in mindset.
Sobriety can change so much about a person’s life. It can change a person’s
- Leisure time. Newly sober people have to find ways to spend their time that don’t involve drugs or alcohol.
- Social life. Newly sober people who have friends or relatives who still use alcohol and drugs often avoid these people because they don’t support their new sobriety.
- Overall outlook. Newly sober people don’t focus their attention on drugs and alcohol, so they’re able to set goals and make plans that don’t relate to drugs.
Sober people have a better chance at staying sober if they make these sort of changes.
It’s kind of funny, but did you notice that these changes also involve abstinence? They involve abstaining from unsupportive people and unhelpful thoughts as well as abstaining from drugs and alcohol. These unhelpful influences might trigger a person’s addictions.
Abstinence or avoiding things are not easy, of course. But for many people, it appears that avoiding some people, things, and thoughts can help a person become sober and stay sober.
